so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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