Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
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