just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
