woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I party with great urgency now.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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