Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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