they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
