hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
