i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize