Don't you send me to vm
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Randomize
