I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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