She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
