Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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