Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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