I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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