Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
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