hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
