We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
