i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I currently don't understand fingers.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
