I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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