xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize