Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
