But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
