I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
from now on my penis is your penis
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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