I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
