I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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