She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?