I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
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and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
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Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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