Who wears a wallet chain?!
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
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did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
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Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.