There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
