Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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