Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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