Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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