Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
