I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
