Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
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