that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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