I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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