Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
