dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize