you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
