small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
