You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
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We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
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i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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