So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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