so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
