he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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