You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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