Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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