Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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