I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Randomize
