I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
