is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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