Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
