If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
