his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
