is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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