You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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