I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i think my mom watched the whole time
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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