I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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