i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
