we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
