you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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